fair weather biker? you bet your ass!

well, well... the weather seems to be warming up, at last. out of the chilly breeze, the sun has actually been hot on my back during my cigarette breaks at work.  and the mornings and evenings are getting lighter, too.  this can only mean one thing... 
it will soon be time to get the leathers out, and put the old girl back on the road.

The Recalcitrant Old Bitch (as i fondly call her)

heh - not a great pic, but the only one i've got, i'm afraid.

so - i'm not what people would think of as a "typical" biker.  very limited knowledge of makes, models, etc.  no framed photies around the house.  no getting out on a sunday to polish her to within an inch of her life.  (um...*blush*...as it happens, she gets washed about once a year, if she's lucky..  mind you, every time i DO wash her, she develops an oil leak. so...*shrugs*)

and noooo riding in all weathers.  oh, no sireee not on your life!  or, in fact, mine.

somebody called me a fair-weather biker once.  which, as far as it goes, is true.  i am.  it was meant as an insult, though, and coming from this particular woman, it was particularly insulting.  but never mind that.

actually, yes - i will expand a little, here. 

fair weather bikers (when used as a perjorative phrase) tends to be applied to people who only get the bike out when the sun's warm and the roads are bone-dry, polish their toys to mirror-brightness, go for a ride, then head to Matlock Bath in Derbyshire (or somewhere like it) on a sunday (traditional meeting place of bikers since only the gods know when - a little bit of the seaside in the heart of the country...) in order to pose.

i am, indeed, a fair-weather biker.  but not in the above sense.

(btw, i was just running over what i wanted to say in this post, and i suspect it may be another of those loooong, rambling ones i seem to be getting so good at.  so if you want to, like, nip out and wash the dishes, or go to a restaurant, or on holiday, or something, go right ahead - i'll probably still be wittering on when you get back - i doubt you'll miss much, to be honest...)

aaaanyway - where was i?...  oh, yes...

so, i ride a bike.  but i tend to use it as a mode of transport to and from work, mostly, rather than as a pleasure-craft.  some people i know go out for a ride just for the sheer joy of it.  tbh, i can rarely be arsed with that.  i started riding about...oooh...seven-ish years ago, mainly because i finally got fed up with being on the back.  seriously - it's a pain in the arse.  (literally, in fact, if we're talking hubby's bike.  his is a chop, and the back seat is less than two inches thick, and six wide, if i'm lucky.  how the hell i did two 900 mile holidays on that terrible torture device, i will never know!) (p.s. it is, sadly no longer rideable - needed a new wiring loom and, by the time we could afford to fix it, it was knackered, so he drives Isobel, these days). 

so i started riding as an adult, with the healthy awareness of my own mortality which that (usually) implies.  also, i drove a car for years, and know just how careless car drivers can be.  therefore, i am a cautious rider, and i never go anywhere without safety gear - full leathers, boots, etc.  and bloody hell, but that takes a looong time to get on!  then, i have to get the bike out, which involves turning her around in a space not much wider than she is long, lifting her back end up to get her around a tight ninety-degree bend in the passage beween our house and next door, then usually squeezing between parked cars onto a road along which people drive like the clappers.  by the time i've done all that (and the bike is old, and, my gods, she is HEAVY!!!), i kinda need a purpose at the end of it all, like, say, earning a little money.  so she generally only gets used for work.  but that's fine, really - i suspect i enjoy my commute a damn sight more than most.  especially in the evening rush-hour, when i get to nip down the middle of the double jams, and really piss the drivers off, stuck in their metal boxes. *naughty grin*

but.... 

the flipside to this is the english sodding weather.  we have a green and pleasant land, but to have a green land, you need water.  and i hatehateHATE riding in the rain!  it fogs your visor, distorts the view, gets in everywhere there's a seam or a gap, or an imperfectly waterproofed item of clothing. 

and the roads!  standing water, diesel spills, puddles, hidden potholes, rubbish and gravel washed across the surface and DRAIN COVERS!!! 

and riding in the rain in the dark?  in rush hour traffic???  forget it!!! 

seriously.  i want to live. 

added to this, my low-light/night vision is pretty poor.  so as well as the fact that it's really unpleasant, there's the safety aspect. 

and riding in the cold?  if you've never ridden a bike (and i'm not talking pillion, here, i'm talking hands on the handlebars), let me tell you - you can tog up as much as you like but, at best, you're only going to be able to give your poor fingertips minimal to moderate protection from the windchill.  and that shit HURTS!!!  try putting your fingers in a vice for half an hour, and slooooowly tightening it, until all you can feel is the pain.  until, in fact, your whole world is the pain.  and again, if you miss even the tiiiiniest gap, that icy blast will get in.

so yes, i AM a fair-weather biker, insofar as i try not to ride in conditions under which there is a greatly increased risk of serious injury and/or death, or a chance of freezing solid and/or having to sit in wet underwear all day (i really don't reccommend it - makes your bum wrinkly).

but the nights are getting lighter, and the weather is sloooowly warming up, and my throttle hand is beginning to twitch.

i tried to start her today, for the first time since october.  she doesn't like being negleted, and refused to fire up, but the starter motor worked, so that was encouraging.  need to juice up the battery and clean the plugs, and try again.  and soon.

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in other news...

today, i mostly did...well...not a great deal, actually.

i got some much-needed laundry and sorting-out-piles-of-crap done, taxed TROB (and i've never seen that acronym before - Trob rather suits her as a name, i feel... :o), and wandered around on facebook for a while (never been there before - i found it a little sprawly and hard to work...). 

and twitter, of course.

but i also decided it was high time i made me some lip balm, as my other one was getting low and gritty (nutmeg - all will be explained.  actually, it's not all that interesting, but i'm gonna tell you anyway..)

the recipe i got from a very nice lady named Holly Snook (i know - cool name, right? apparrently, her dutch grandfather's surname was Snoek, but it got anglicised.  which i think is a shame, but never mind), who i used as a starting point for the heroine in my current work-in-progress.  this girl is one of the nicest, warmest, friendliest, and generally loveliest people i've ever met.  and there's something oddly fey about her, but her looks wouldn't be considered fey...

...getting off the point, here, sorry...

she used to run a shop in Saddlergate in Derby called Boo - selling ethical, fair trade items of a variety of descriptions (also making miniskirts out of old neckties - soooo cool!).  tiny little place in a basement - very welcoming and always smelled deliciously of incense.  i haven't actually been in for months, but i went back on friday, as i was after some Melissa essential oil.  no joy. 

at first, i thought the shop had closed, as the board outside said Cherry Bomb Gallery, but thankfully i went to have a look before i wandered away in disappointment.  sure enough, as soon as i walked in the door, i could smell the incense - albeit fainter.  and, at the bottom of the stairs, there was the lovely Holly herself.  turns out, she's gone into partnership with some friends, as she's got an apprenticeship with a tattoo artist.  to learn how to make HANDPICKED TATTOOS!!! ancient art!  am absolutely floored with joy for her!  :o)

anyway, back when the shop was still Boo, she did little workshops on how to make various chemical- and crap-free beauty products.  i went to the one where she showed us how to make lip balm and moisturising/massage bars.  from pure cocoa butter and the like (which, of course, she sold).  i went home and tried it. 

it. is. sheer. bliss! 

forget Body Shop, forget (even) Lush.  this stuff is astonishing.  it's the best i've ever used.  and it's petrochemical free and ethical, too! *waaaaarm fuzzies*

herewith, the recipe (with tips / info included from the original leaflet, and a few of my own):

3/4 tsp wax (forms moisturising barrier - use apricot, bees or olive wax, or a mixture)

1/2 tsp cocoa butter (high in vit. e - regenerating)

2 tsp olive oil (high in vit. e - regenerating)

1/2 tsp organic honey (antiseptic, plus speeds healing)

or

1/2 tsp organic maple syrup (anti-oxidising, loaded with manganese and zinc)

plus a pinch of ground cinnamon for blushed lips, or a couple of drops of vanilla extract for sweet lips

N.B. NEVER melt butters and oils over direct heat, otherwise you will destroy all of the goodness.  use a bain marie or similar.

take a few minutes to melt the butter and wax in a small dish over hot water (the more finely grated these are, the quicker it will melt - esp the wax, which takes aaaages if it's a bit lumpy):

add the oil and honey or syrup, stir gently until all is liquid and blended.

remove from the heat and allow to cool for 5 mins before adding your flavouring. (i added a smidge of cinnamon as i'm very sensitive to it, and a smidge of nutmeg)

decant into a small pot, and leave to cool (stirring occasionally, or the honey is likely to separate out)

i tend to stir it until it begins to solidify (doen't take too long) , then put it in the fridge for half an hour to an hour, to set properly.

et voila! 

the best lip balm you will ever use - i promise! ;o)  seriously - it lasts on your lips for yonks, and makes them sooo soft - it's quite simply divine! ^_^

(added edit: it tends to be a little hard, especially in the wintertime, but if you scrape a little out with the back of your fingernail and smoothe it on your lips, it melts straight away, and works perfectly :o)

in the pic, the one on the left is the lip balm, the one on the right is an experimental solid perfume.

i used the same method, but with:

1 1/2 tsp kpangnan butter (don't ask me - i have nooo idea, but it's virtually odourless - great for perfume)

1 tsp yangu oil (see above)

1/2 tsp beeswax

melted the wax, butter and oil as described above, removed from the heat, then added 5 drops each of juniper and frankincense essential oils. 

smells divine - spicy and woody - just the way i like it!  hubby says it reminds him (not unpleasantly) of pine resin.

not sure how long the smell lasts on my skin because, of course, i can't smell it after a bit.  but i'll just stick my nose in the pot and inhale deeply anyway! XD

(added edit: sadly, despite how much wax i put in, the smell still doesn't seem to last too long. *shrugs* oh well...back to the chopping board...)

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and now, it's late, and i'm cold, and i've been working on this post for bloody HOURS! (got distracted somewhere in the middle by a Twitter conversation involving kidnap, werewolves, tides and the moon...

so - cup of tea and bedtime for Squeaky, methinks. 

goodnight, dear, sweet reader. 

dream high and free.

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