30 Day blog challenge: Day... aw hell, who cares...whatever...

like i said - i'm only doing this post so i get to go through 2010's posts to do the year in blog quotes (with apologies for the raggedy layout - blogger's being a shitforbrains).  this is entirely for my own amusement, and i don't expect you to stay awake for it.  in fact...  here - have a pillow.

january

well - never thought i'd be doing this. it's all Neil Gaiman's fault.

---

...the notion of being able to give my brain a good fettle is appealing. Y'know, like at the times when I've got thoughts buzzing around my head like a fly in a dark bedroom in summer (i can NEVER sleep when those little bastards get in!).

february

Soundtrack to this post is Empire by Kasabian, btw. Currently Apnoea. I love that song, despite its puzzling clubness. And a tiny part of that is because apnoea really does take one's breath away, and i kind of associate this with the rush of utter bliss of dancing in a club and one of your favourites comes on, and you're *already* in amongst that heaving, sweating animal on the dancefloor, and damn, it feels GOOD!!!

---

honestly, i have noooo idea what the neighbours thought as the shrieks of unrestrained joy came echoing through the ridiculously thin wall separating our bathroom from theirs....

march

Then...the raffle.
When he read out one of my tickets - 606 - I...yes...guess what I did?
The entire room heard it. 200 people - including my hero - heard me squeak with excitement.
I didn't however, have time to die of embarrassment, as a split-second before I could, he looked at me with amused approval, and said "Good squeak!" I could have died on the spot, and gone to the next life (or to the mud) content that this one had been worth it.

---

well, well, dear reader.  if you were on Twitter this afternoon, round about threeish (BST), you may have seen this:
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! AT LAST! AT LAST! AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! YES, YOU BITCH!!! YOU DIDN'T DEFEAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and, shortly after, this:
*************************EPIC HAPPYDANCE**********************************
that was the sound of me finally, FINALLY!!! finishing the typing up of the bloody WIP.

 

april

or maybe i'm just an inveterate chatterbox with a stationary fetish?...

---

yup, you heard right, dear reader. i am a grandma.  at thirty-three years old.  sheesh!  thanks, guys - way to go! *headsmack*

 ---

the only trouble with Harborough is that it's so popular (also, people have been climbing there since the 1800's), many of the holds have been polished to glassy smoothness.  friction?  what's that?  had to be sooo careful!

 ---

dear reader, it hath arrived!  the new bike is in da house, and poor Trob is no more. :o(

may

i have absolutely no idea what this is, other than that it turned up in my head late one night, sometime last week...

 ---

i just got my book in the post!!!

 ---

just as an aside, it occurs to me to wonder if that's where i keep my story silt, between the shores of sleeping and waking...? 

---

It may not seem like a big deal but, to me, it’s the signal that, in the words of The Dooberies, summer’s on it’s way. We have a saying in this part of the world:
Ne’er shed a clout*
‘Till May be out
(*clothing)
Meaning: don’t discard yer woollies ‘till you see the blossom on the Maytree (hawthorn). Even then, it’s not an absolute guide, since the sun’s just gone in, and I’ve had to slip me cardi back on – the breeze is still pretty cold. But I care not. I care not. Because the warms are nearly here, and I miss being able to expose my skin to the bliss of the sun’s rays.

june

sadly, i think i'm possibly too old to become any kind of computer/communications geek now, and my mathematical understanding is most assuredly not up to the job.  but i have such a huge admiration for geeks of *every* stripe - not just the electronic ones.  if there's any sort of justice around, never mind the meek inheriting the earth - i think the geeks should.

july

Fucking hormones.

---

i keep hitting walls with "OK, smartass, what happens next, then?" scrawled all over them in dripping red paint.
but it's coming.  the working title is utterly crap, and there's already a lot that needs poking, but i still have a connection with it, and ideas for what happens later (without any idea of how i'm going to get from here to there), but it's coming.... :)

august

*checks pic folders for Stuff I Have Done Recently*

 ----

And the concept was always guaranteed to get my attention, having spent so many hours as a child pondering the differences between dreams and reality, and how one could really, *really* tell one from the other. And if that telling would be right. So glad it really *isn't* just me. And the guy who played Eames? Hot damn! *thud* 

---

we hadn't been there ten minutes before the guy on the pitch next to us was taking pictures of his kids giving the VeeDub wave and saying "Duuuuude!" in their really tiny little voices.  sooooo cute!

 ---

seriously - how many places could this door lead to?  on this plane or any other?

september

there's been a thought washing around in my head this week, and it's this:  i wonder if those ancient greek dudes were really on to something...?  believe it or not, this was prompted by my having my lip pierced.

october

in case you're wondering, Talulah isn't an all-terrain vehicle, there's a dirt road that leads right through the heart of the forest.  the potholes in said road, however, had me gritting my teeth and screwing my eyes shut waiting for the crunch of a grounding.  thankfully, hubby managed to avoid the deepest ones.

---

ladies and gentlemen, i take great pleasure in introducing you to Max The Cat.  

---

Twenty five hours to go. And I have no plot, no characters, no setting, no idea. Fuck yeah! Bring it on, NaNoWriMo!!! :D
P.S. Wish me luck, dear reader, i'm gonna need it... ;)
XXX

november

(no posts due to NaNoWriMo)

december

so there you have it.  thirty days of slog, and here i am.  the proud author of my THIRD NOVEL!!!
i can hardly believe it, but i've done it again, and i'm a winner again! :D

---

i was quite pleased that the results were at least readable. i tweeted them (with apologies for how depressing the second one was), and got some generous replies from some very nice people (if you're reading this, thank you all!).  also an injunction never to apologise for having created something.  which was lovely, and made me smile.

--- 

hmph.  bah bloody humbug.  oh, well - at least we'll get to see friends we don't see nearly often enough.
although, to be fair to myself, i *did* in fact manage to aquire, wrap and post presents for my brother, sister-in-law and niece in astonishingly good time this year.  was actually quite proud of this achievement (despite the fact that the parcel also contained sis-in-law's birthday present which should have reached her by the 5th of november... *facepalm*) 

---

soooo...  whilst fighting the cat for posession of my lap and trying to prevent him from treading all over the keyboard, i was perusing the blog of the lady who has been Drabbling so marvellously all over the comments of my previous post (hi Liz! *waves*).  I saw that she was doing a thirty day blog challenge. (...uh...  what happened to that, BTW - xmas get in the way...? *sympathy*), and I thought it might be a somewhat interesting exercise.  i mean - i know hardly anybody ever reads this poor wittering, but perhaps i'll learn something about myself...?  (N.B. added edit:  er....not really, no....)

---

so christmas is over.  all of the rushing around is done, the presents have been given and received, too much food has been consumed, and life is beginning to show signs of returning to normal.

30 Day blog challenge: Fail

nope - i'm grumpy and hormonal, and i'm not gonna do it, dammit!  anyway - what kind of poor, tortured soul wants to know about my day, week or month in great detail?  what are you, some kind of masochist??? 0.o  the only reason i'm planning on doing tomorrow's post is that it will give me a chance to nick an idea from @abivandenberg and do the year in blog quotes....

for now, here's another picture - this time of my favourite type of cloud:

Quote from Captain Daniel, "Flying to the north of Dresden last August (on the way to Prague), we had to deviate around this Cumulonimbus, as we were just passing, it became bathed in the setting sun." 

© Daniel Hunn.

 

(lifted from the website of The Cloud Appreciation Society)

30 Day blog challenge: Day 25 - Your day, in great detail

it. was. a. bitch.

i have been sporadically taking notes throughout the day, in order to facilitate the writing of this post.  sadly, however, i am buggered, banjaxed and otherwise bolloxed.

no post today, i'm afraid - haven't got the energy.

instead, here is a picture of something beautiful:

you're welcome.

30 Day blog challenge: Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy

*checks watch*

it's definitely day 24, right?

right

sooo...  how about the dfferent types of climbing?  there's a bit of a visual glossary at the bottom, if all the equipment confuses you.  ...it still confuses the hell out of me, sometimes... there are several other types of climbing, but these are, i think, the three main types...

Trad

traditional, obviously.  this is the type of climbing you're most likely to be familliar with.  it's the type that requires all sorts of curious and arcane equipment, such as nuts, friends or cams, quickdraws, rope, karabiners or krabs, straps, tape, harness, rock shoes, chalk bags, hexes, helmets, belay (pronounced bee-lay) devices, and about a million other curious and exciting-looking bits and bobs.  doing it properly costs a bleedin' fortune, mate.  it's done on rock that has cracks, fissures and pockets in which to lodge your cams, hexes and nuts...
*pause for juvenile sniggering*
...and is tricky.  you put your safety equipment in as you go, and this takes practice and experience.  if you cock up the placement of a nut, for example...
*pauses for more juvenile sniggering*
...when your second comes up and puts strain on it, it can pop out of the rock and whack you painfully in the head, or other parts.  same goes for hexes (which are really more like giant nuts than anything else) and cams.  also, if you fall, you want to be goddamned sure that shit's in there nice and tight.  a fall is terrifying enough, believe me, without "unzipping" your nuts (yeah, yeah yeah - when you've finished.....jeez - how old are you?) all the way down the rockface.

Sport

this requires much, much less equipment than trad.  simply rope, harness, quickdraws, rock shoes, belay device, chalk bag, and a helmet, if you've got any sense.  this type of climbing is done on much smoother rock walls with few or no places to put safety equipment.  on a sport climb, you clip a quickdraw to the eyebolts already drilled into the rock (by your friendly local or national climbing or mountaineering organisation), and then run your rope through the other end of the quickdraw as you go.  it will have an extra-strong loop or clip at the top, called a lower-off point. (and if you've seen the movie 127 hours - awesome, BTW - this is the piece of metal he kisses towards the end) when you reach that, you clip the rope through it, and then get lowered down, collecting your quickdraws alng the way (or leaving them in place for your second to collect when they climb up).

Free

this, as far as i'm concerned, is the preserve of nutters.

using no equipment other than a chalkbag and some rock shoes, you climb your chosen route with nothing to arrest your fall, should you slip. *shudder*

some people like to do it naked, too.

Glossary

 

 rock shoes.  these have a soft upper, sticky, smooth rubber soles, and generally a pointed toe (to allow you to get easier putchase in those tiny, tricky cracks

 

 on the left are cams or "friends" - these can be squeezed to close the head, and then inserted into the crack where the head expands and (hopefully) grips the rock.  top right are karabiners, or "krabs".  these are hugely useful things which clip the various parts of your climbing rig together.  bottom right are nuts.  these are carefully shaped nuggets of metal which can be inserted into cracks and then, by virtue of their odd shape, wedged tight.  the wire on the end allows you to clip a krab to it, and then run your rope through the krab.  bottom middle is a nut key.  one of my best friends on a trad climb (since i'm usually the second - hubby being a better climber).  this marvellous and wonderful little device allows you to lever a nut out from a crack if it has become wedged.  absolutely invaluable!

 

 quickdraws.  these allow for quick and (relatively) easy clipping on to various bits of kit.

 

 belay devices come in many weird and wonderful shapes.  this is the bit that the second uses to hold the rope taut without getting rope burn should the climber fall.  it's a sort of friction lock, working on the pulley principle.  i can hold hubby's weight with three fingers using one of these.

 

the chalk bag.  this hangs from the harness, or a belt.  it can hold loose chalk or, as in the picture, a chalk ball.  this is loose chalk held inside a mesh which is released when you squeeze the ball.  generally insisted on by indoor climbing walls as, if you fall, the chalk doesn't explode everywhere.

And Finally...

i urge you to watch this video.  it will blow your mind.  takes a while to load, but it's worth it...

30 Day blog challenge: Day 23 — A recipe

dammit!  i cocked up - day 21 should have been a recipe, not a website! *headdesk*

very well, then - i shall recipe-ize now.  i'm a reluctant and hit-and-miss cook, but occasionally i add a dish to my limited repetoire.  here's one i invented not too long ago, and it's well tasty.  had it yesterday, in fact.

chilli-chorizo-noodle-thingy - serves two

ingredients:

one jar Napolina chilli & tomato pasta sauce.
enough noodles for two (or four if you do what i do and give the chickens the leftover noodles) you can use any pasta you like, but i prefer noodles - better taste and texture.  and i can't cook pasta very well, all right?
about 5-6 inches of chorizo (approx 1 inch thick)
about 200g mushrooms (i use chestnut mushrooms)
a couple of smallish onions
grated chese to taste (i use gruyere)
all ingredient quantities are approximate - experiment with quantities
a couple of pasta bowls

method:

1. chop the onions, mushrooms and chorizo, chuck 'em in a pan with a bit of oil, and simmer on a low heat until the juices have mixed and the onion is more-or-less transparent
2. toss in the jar of sauce (rinse out the jar with a little water and chuck that in too), and mix it all up.
3. allow to simmer whilst you cook the noodles
4. dump the noodles in the pasta bowls with the tomatoey/mushroomy/chorizoey/oniony stuff on top.
5. sprinkle a bit of grated cheese on top to taste
6. scoff with "om nom nom" noises

ded simple, and ded tasty - just the way i like it. ^_^

30 Day blog challenge: Day 21 - a website & Day 22 - a YouTube video

i seem to have spent most of this challenge not quite sticking to the rules in one way or another.  but it's my blog, and i can do what i like.  so there. *pouts*

actually, i was knackered last night, and just couldn't face going through all of the rigmarole of blogging (i think i've explained before somewhere this month what a pain in the ass it is to just get online, so i won't go over it again), and besides, i was busy putting a face-mask on, wearing jammies, watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and cuddling wih an equally knackered hubby.

so.

two posts for the price of one.

first: a website.

i played with the idea of linking to Neil Gaiman's Website, since it was sort of my introduction to the wider wonderful weirdness of the web, but that's too obvious.  another i looked at is the cheezburger network, because i like to laugh, and i'm guaranteed a chuckle from there.  but everybody's seen that website in one form or another.  i mean, everybody knows what a LOLcat is, right?

so how about xkcd?  it's (quote) "a webcomic of romace, sarcasm, math and language".  basically, it's mostly stick figures making whimsical jokes.  i admit to not getting all of the jokes, since a lot of them depend on the reader being a cleverer and more familliar with popular culture and technology than i.  but i get most on some level, and it's endearingly and unashamedly geeky.  click on the "random" button to get a fairly wide selection of cartoons about a surprisingly wide range of topics (though physics and technology are heavily favoured).  although there's a pretty good selection here, too. *chuckle*

and today's offering: a YouTube Video.

aw, c'mooooon - there's f**kin' billions of these things!

the most recent one i watched was for Amanda Palmer's awesome new single:  Map Of Tasmania. 

geographical / cultural note:  "map of Tasmania" is an Australian euphemism for female pubic hair, as the island of Tasmania is vaguely triangular in shape....  (hence the catcall: "Hey, love - show us yer map of Tasmania!")  i love the song, and the video - as well as looking great - made me LMAO.

enjoy! :oD

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30 Day blog challenge: Day 20 — A hobby of yours

this could be tricky...

i don't really have any hobbies, as such.  well - i don't really think about the things i do as hobbies, anyway.

i think i might have to cheat again...

first and foremost, of course, is reading, but that's less of a hobby and more of a way of life.  i'm sure it's that way for many of those who might read this post, since most will follow the link i post on Twitter, and most of my Twitterati are writers of one stripe or another.  if anyone else comes across this...  

hi!  say hello, whydontcha?  i'm quite friendly, you know. :o)

i suppose i've had quite a few hobbies at one time or another in my life - but nothing i do constantly.  i have a butterfly mind (read: short attention span and limited staying power).  amongst the activities i do or have done in the past, and in no particular order, are:

• making greeting cards
• origami
• macrame
• knitting
• making friendship bracelets
• climbing
• writing
• aikido (though that is one i will never be going back to - faaaaaar  too active XP)
• writing out the lyrics to my favourite Iron Maiden songs (that one was a loooong time ago - before the interwebz, even! )
• ...er...does listening to music count?  probably not...
• dancing    (not just ballroom - i used to do ballet.  i admit to giving it up aged seven, but it still counts, right...?)

 there are probably more, but i'm buggered if i can remember them at the moment.  and i haven't forgotten (even though i haven't been in months) that i said one day i might write about the different kinds of climbing, and what each entails (in the case of free climbing, f'r instance, utter madness...)

as you can probably tell from the list, i have the urge to be creative, or at least make/create stuff.  sadly, i'm hampered by a lack of creativity, and my tendency to be easily dist....  oooh!  shiny thing! O_O

do you have any hobbies, dear reader?  care to share...?

.
 

30 Day blog challenge: Day 19 — A talent of yours

as i mentioned yesterday, i have several utterly useless but vaguely entertaining talents/party tricks/whatevers, but i'm going to be a good girl tonight, and pick just one.

all right, dear reader - do you remember the lengthy weirdness that was Twin Peaks?  i was at a very impressionable age (14) when i first saw it. (i say first, because i think ive seen it twice since - still makes very, very little bloody sense, though!)  so there are certain scenes that left a vivid image burned on my brain (David Duchovny in drag, anyone...?), but the one in which Audrey Horne auditioned for a position  (snigger) at One-Eyed Jacks stands out, because i have mastered the skill which she demonstrated in order to get herself hired.  anyone else remember that scene...?

;o)

so come on - share - what's your talent?  don't be shy - we've all got at least one. :o)
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30 Day blog challenge: Day 18 - Whatever tickles your fancy.

Dammit, I’ve been scuppered! Because i had been thinking about this one for a few days, wondering what i could share that wasn’t likely to scar you for life. And realised i have certain bizarre and completely useless talents. But that’s tomorrow’s post. And i can’t just sit here recording random brainfarts, can i? I suppose i could tell you about what I’m doing tonight... but I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before...

Well, hell if i have - I’m gonna tell you again.

Just after Christmas, i suggested to hubby that i might be vaguely interested in taking ballroom dancing lessons. To his credit, he barely flinched and, eventually (if reluctantly), agreed. Quite apart from being a bloke (well...the last time i looked, anyway... ;o), and that not being a traditionally “manly” pursuit, hubby is, whilst not shy, nor introverted, somewhat the opposite of a show-off. He quiet, and speaks usually only when he has something to say worth hearing. In contrast, of course, to me, who chatters on about inanities almost constantly.
Aaanyway.
This extends to dancing in public. He doesn’t. Well... not often. I would even go so far as to say seldom. And he was not keen. And he got less keen as the fateful day approached.
But he did it, for me. And to both our surprise (and my utter delight), he enjoyed it.
We went again last Tuesday, and he enjoyed it again, despite some frustrations at not being able to get a new step we’d been taught. This led to a little fun, actually. Wanting to practice the move, so we didn’t make fools of ourselves tonight, and our house not even being big enough to swing a cat, we needed somewhere else to practice our quickstep corners.
Our house is on a main road, not far down which is the entrance to our local tennis club. The drive to the club goes down between the houses and emerges behind the gardens. Our house backs on to the grass courts. The chain link fence is very useful, since it allows us to see through the trees at the end of the garden to the grass beyond, which (visually, at least), extends our garden. At the end of the drive is a car park.
After dark on Saturday night, we ambled on down there, and practiced. It was funny, and annoying, and irritating, and funny, and dizzying. Spinning round and round trying to get the steps right, I’m surprised we didn’t end up lying in a tangled heap. But we managed. It helps, I find, if I don’t try to lead… >_< We didn’t quite get it, but I think we got better…
I guess I’ll find out in an hour or so…

And in reply to @AislingWeaver, who responded to my cry for help:

Purple. Because it’s sumptuous and delicious, and the right shade can feed my soul. X

30 Day blog challenge: Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

ooooh.... *rubs hands together*

i've been looking forward to this one.  not because i have a great deal to say about this subject.  as the saying goes:  "I don't know much about art, but i know what i like."  or rather, i don't.  stuff can grow on me (y'know, like mould), or it can flake off.  but there is an awful lot of strange beauty out there, and some of it fills me with bliss.  such as the piece i've chosen to share here.  it's a piece of sculpture that resides in St Pancras Station in London.  the station itself is, quite frankly, a work of art.  it is, essentially, a vast dead-end barn, with a sweepingly majestic arched glass roof, where the trains arrive forwards, and leave backwards.  it is the sation where the train that travels from Derby to London terminates.  i've only been been there twice in the last three years, but both times, i spent a lot of time just looking at the building and the sculpture in it, and the poetry inscribed on the floor.  the station has spent many years being lovingly restored to its Victorian glory, and my god, it's gorgeous! *sigh*  oh yes - and the beautiful iron beams (now painted a lovely sky-blue) were, i'm proud to say, manufactured not two miles from where i'm currently sitting.

oh, look - i can't just show you the sculpture - i have to share the station, too!  everything, in fact! :oD  lets face it - i consider the whole thing a work of art.

look, i'm not going to go on and on about this (actually, i might yet - stay tuned, funsters!), but there's a couple of things i really want to show you....

first is this:

this wonderful, and somewhat scruffy, chap (rendered in glorious life and wind-blown motion by martin jennings) is Sir John Betjeman - a beloved English "poet of the people". 

he led the fight to stop the demolition of the beautiful facade of the station (the Midland Hotel, which adorns the front of the station) in the 1960s and is, for that reason, commemorated here. (see this article for a little more info).  

it's his poetry you can see inscribed on the cumbrian slate  on which he stands.

it reads:

"And in the shadowless unclouded glare / Deep blue above us fades to whiteness where / A misty sea-line meets the wash of air."

 

he's gazing in wonder at the beautiful roof of the (unromantically named) Barlow Train Shed:

 trust me - the photo does not do it justice.

and so to the piece of sculpture that started all of this off.:

  "the meeting place" by paul day

again, the photos don't do it justice.  it's stunning, and brings tears to my eyes.

since i took these photos in 2008 (coincidentally on my way to meet Neil Gaiman, though i didn't know it at the time...), more has been added around the base of the plinth, depicting...  well, all sorts of railway-related things, and it. is. awesome.  astonishing in its detail and artistry.

so there you go - Saint Pancras Station.

oh, and one other thing, because i can rarely stop at one....

this painting, which has hung in our front room for many years, was painted by none other than my talented hubby *tries not to burst with pride*

 

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30 Day blog challenge: Day 15 — A fanfic & Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)

yes, yes, i know - cheating again.  in my defence, i can only say that for the last hour and a half, i have been wrestling with my internet connection, so you wuld have had day 15's post on day 15 if my sparkles hadn't fizzled and caused repeated headdesking.  i am now back to using my phone as a modem, as it's far too late at night to be dealing with someone in a call centre who does not have English as their mother tongue and who will inevitably ask me "did you try turning it off and then back on again?" (to which the  answer, of course, is "YES!!!" >_< )

ok, day 15 - a fanfic.

so....  what?  one i wrote, or one i enjoy?  makes no difference either way, since i neither read nor write fanfic.  i know lots of people do.  and gain a very great deal of enjoyment from those acts.  i confess, though, it's not a thing that has ever appealed to me.  for me as a reader and writer, i cannot see the point.  as a reader, i want the magic that only comes from the mind of the original author.  as a writer, i wouldn't want to mess with beloved characters, and i would be forever comparing my work with the original and finding it wanting.  i have enough problems with confidence, thankyouverymuch..  this doesn't mean, though, that i look down on it, or disdain it - i just don't think it's for me.

...er...sorry.

day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)

well, one we've had already - on day one of this challenge, in fact.  but there is another that leaps almost immediately to mind, and it's this one:

Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris

alternatively, this one is achingly poignant, and the more i listen to it, the sadder it gets.  it makes my soul weep.

Famous Blue Raincoat by Leonard Cohen

P.S. these may or may not show up, the aforementioned problems and a new (to) me feature of Blogger may let me down.  let me know if they do, and if the songs make you cry, too...

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30 day blog challenge: Day 14 — A non-fictional book

once again, i'm umming and ahhing between two.  one by a hero of mine (astonishingly, not Neil Gaiman.  yes - i have other heroes! *le gasp*)  and another by one of my favourite DJs (of which there are few).

i read very few non-fiction books.  in fact, it may even be two a year or less.  just for fun, i'm going to try to remember and list all of the non-fiction books i've ever read (and please forgive my faulty memory)...

1. life on air - david attenborough (the former)
2. thank you for the days - mark radcliffe (the latter - there's that lovely word again! :)
3. are you dave gorman? - dave gorman and danny wallace
4. yes man - danny wallace
5. a history of the british isles (or 2000 years of upper class twits in charge) {or soething along those lines, anyway} - john lloyd (er...i think...?)
6. three by a lady whose name i can't recall, nor the book titles, but they concerned her experiences of going off to live the life of a scottish island crofter in the 1950s and were very intersting, and often extremely funny
7. several by james herriot, a country vet in the yorkshire dales - also incredibly funny and often very poignant.
8. one by gervais finn, possibly called the other side of the dale (?)
9. in search of captain zero, and, can't you get along with anyone? - alan c weisbecker
10. boy - roald dahl
11. red dog - louis de bernieres
12. biographies of pink floyd, billy connolly, bill hicks
13. wicked plants - amy stewart

that's about it.  an average of not even one per year that i've been an inveterate, obsessive reader. or even a willing one, really (my gran gave me a copy of the famous five when i was abought eight, and i turned into a reader overnight).  for those who really care, this timespan is 26 years - longer than my sister-in-bloggery, Liz, has been alive.

argh.  *feels old*

ok, having done that list, i realise that  can't pick just one.  somehow, it's harder to pick from a small group than it is from a big group.  it's not that i don't want to hurt the others' feelings, or anything.  well....ok, maybe a bit...but books are people too!

*cough*

but it depends on what i might think you're after as to which one i'm more likely to wave under your nose saying, "you HAVE to read this!!!"

aaaaaaanyway.....

a small list to chose from.  although, thinking about it, there's one i have yet to mention that stands head-and-shoulders above all of these.   above any book ever written, in fact.

for me, at least, the hands-down winner is this nonfiction book.

i heart it.  thanks for teaching me about it, grandad. X


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30 day blog challenge: Day 13 — A fictional book

...and this means....what...exactly?  an imaginary book?  or a book of fiction?  badly-worded heading there, i feel.  ambiguous.  however, having pondered and debated with hubby, and considered tomorrow's title, i think it's probably the latter.

(N.B.  weird wordie that i am, i specifically arranged the first part of that paragraph just so i could use the word "latter".  i've always been fond of that word...)

but...  haven't we already had "Your favourite book"?  why put in two?  as a lifelong bibliophle, i have to say i really couldn't give a monkey's chuff.  opportunity to think and talk about books?  i'm in!  :oD

but what to pick?  what to pick?

how'bout One Fine Day In The Middle Of The Night - the one i'm reading right now? 

or, more accurately re-reading.  for the third, or possibly fourth time.  it's by Christopher Brookmyre - an author who comes second only in my affections to Neil Gaiman.  principally because of how much he makes me laugh.  and i'm not talking chuckling, here - i'm talking great, guffawing belly-laughs. 
...not all the time.  oh, no.  but then who wants that?  where nuance?  where tragedy? &c. &c. 
...but he did write a scene that had me laughing so hard that, desperate though i was to read it to a puzzled and mildly alarmed hubby, i. just. couldn't.  it involved discovery of accidental cannibalism, an ice-bucket, and synchronised vomiting of epic proportions.  oh, and there was the one where, with the careful (or, more accurately, careless) application of a snooker table, a mercenary accidentally cut his own head off.  seriously - one of the literary comedy highlights of my entire life.  so elegantly and logically set up, so gracefully executed (if you'll forgive the pun  >_< )....  i'm in awe. 
and the titles of his books are often works of art in themselves.  for example - who wouldn't be intrigued by a book titled "A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away"...?

  

or "All Fun And Games Until Somebody Loses An Eye"...?

now, admittedly, OFDITMOTN doesn't contain as many guffaws, but the part where the recently-retired policeman get's knocked unconscious by a disembodied arm falling from the sky is pretty funny....

the plot centres around a school reunion, which takes place on a decommisioned oil rig that has been converted into "The Floating Island Paradise Resort".  which subsequently gets attacked by a bunch of inept mercenaries hell-bent on slaughtering everyone on board.  one of the things Brookmyre does so very well is paint schooldays, and the relationships, language, politics and culture peculiar to that environment.  several of his novels concern this particular aspect of the human experience.  but there's so much more than that in there.  Brookmyre pokes fun at everything.  sometimes affectionately, sometimes with loathing and incredulity at the stuidity and malice of "the people".  but always with inventive accuracy.

dear reader, i urge you to read this book.  or, indeed, anything by this master storyteller (apart from Boiling a frog which, for reasons i won't go into, i enjoyed the least, but whose title is still a wonderful thing, and perfectly encapsulates the essence of the book).  invariably fast-paced, intelligent and funny, they are joyous.  and i'm bloody dying for him to write another.  i'm twitching like a junkie needing a fix.

for your consideration: the two mentioned earlier (particularly AFAGUSLAE, which is about the power and strength of motherhood, and women in general, and has some really cool gadgets in it).

all images borrowed from www.fantasticfiction.com.  i'll be happy to put them back if they're not happy about this.

30 Day blog challenge: Day 12 - whatever tickles your fancy

blogging this at work today, in my dinner hour.  this is because i'm so fecking tired.  tonight's plan includes good food (chippy tea...NOM!!!), shower, jammies, snuggles with hubby and kitteh, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Christopher Brookmyre's One Fine Day In The Middle Of The Night, and. nothing. else.  noooooo interwebz for Squeaky, oh no siree! 

i noticed amongst all of the "your favourite this" and "your favourite that" that there was nowhere for "your favourite poem" in the 30 Day blog challenge.  so here, for your delectation and delight, is my offering for day 12 (and the sharp-eyed amongst you may notice a developing theme - it's not my fault, i should have been born with feathers... )

High Flight

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth

And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;

Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth

Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things

You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung

High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there

I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung

My eager craft through footless halls of air.

Up, up the long delirious, burning blue,

I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace

Where never lark, or even eagle flew -

And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod

The high untresspassed sanctity of space,

Put out my hand and touched the face of God.

---

Pilot Officer Gillespie Magee

No 412 squadron, RCAF

Killed 11 December 1941

Rest in peace

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N.B. the author of these beautiful words was, i believe, Canadian. 
which ought to please my sister-in-bloggery, over at .Square Mug. ;o)
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this blog challenge has been fun so far, but i have discovered the downside.

we live in a teenytiny house with very little space for desks, tables, etc.  and certainly not enough space for the pooter to have a seat of it's very own.  so i fold it away somewhere convenient whenever it's not being used.  this means it's a flatout pain in the arse to get it out, find a comfy (or not-so-comfy if we're talking about our kitchen chairs >_<) seat, untangle the cables, plug everything in, wait for three hours whilst it goes through its customary warming-up-and-crashing cycle once or twice, and actually get the interwebz to work.  therefore, i rarely go on it if i haven't already got something i need to do (blogging, shopping, &c. &c.).  however, when i have done the needed thing, i usually find myself happily nattering away to people on Twitter and elsewhere, having half-a-dozen conversations at once, and then realizing that if i don't get to bed soon, i will turn into a pumpkin.  and then spend the next day being a rather grumpy zombie and throwing virtual food at @thextraman.

Squeaky needs her sleep.  so tonight she needs an early night.  and by golly, she ain't gonna get one unless she stays away from that damn machine!  i will likely, however, be tweeting from my phone, which is an altogether different prospect, since phonetweeting is a right royal pain in the arse (on mine, at least), therefore i don't natter nearly as much. 

so pleasepleaseplease, dear reader, if you see me tweeting after about 10 PM, tell me off and send me to beddybyes?

kthxbai! XXX

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30 day blog challenge: Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently

h'm.  not too many of these, either.  i'm not the most photogenic of bods.

hmmmm.....  *flicks through recent photies*

ok....  here's one.  dreadful photo of me, but then they mostly are.  i chose it coz it's a good one of my pretty kitteh.  ^_^

 

it's terrifying how much i'm starting to look like my brother as i get older.  >_<

alternatively, there's this one - taken in a bathroom at a wedding i attended in the summer.  i guess that still counts, right?  i mean, geologically speaking, it's practically now...

 

i don't get dressed up very often.  you can tell, can't you...?  

(spot the wonky eyeliner...)

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30 day blog challenge: Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago

i don't have many of these, but this one, i'm very fond of.  apologies for the quality, but as my scanner's packed away, i had to take a pic of the original on my phone, upload it to twitpic, and then link to the image *phew*.  a little roundabout, but hey - i've never been very good at making techie things easy on myself...

it was taken when i was about 18 months old in my Nana and Grandad's back garden.

N.B. the caption is what my mum wrote on the back of the photie...

May 1978

Running away from paddling pool

(she screamed when i put her in 'coz she doesn't like cold water) 

(or even lukewarm)

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30 day blog challenge: Day 09 — A photo you took

I took this on my phone during our trip to Cornwall and Dorset this last year.  god in heaven, the wind was cold on that beach!  we are soaking up the last rays of the long light as the sun sinks into the English Channel over Brean Beach.  it was a beautiful moment.

 

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phone

another challenge from @catinabaglady, this one somewhat smuttier than the last.
it still makes me blush to post something like this, but i'm sure i'll get over it...  i hope...

Phone

When her mobile sang out from the bedside table, it dragged her out of a deep, exhausted slumber that she had not been in for very long. Squinting her eyes against the bright morning light, she just about managed to find it and slide it open. Falling back against the rucked pillows, she croaked, "Hello?"
The mildly amused voice on the other end sent a little flare of joy through her belly, and went a long way towards dragging her further from sleep.
"Good morning, my pet."
Smiling sleepily, "Good morning, Sir."
"Still in bed?"
"Not been sleeping well, Sir. I miss you."
She could hear the smile in his voice as he said, "Poor thing - it's hard for you when I'm away, isn't it?"
"Yes, sir. But I know you have to go."
"I miss you too, my pet."
She felt a smug satisfaction at that. Guilt, though, and sympathy, came hot on its heels. Poor thing - he must be aching.
"I'm so sorry to hear that, Sir." She snuggled a little deeper into the quilt and pillows, imagining his arms around her, stroking her, soothing away her loneliness, and his.
"Have you been a good girl?"
"Yes, Sir."
"Not been touching yourself while I've been away, have you?"
Pride crept into her voice. It had been hard work, while missing him so much this past week, to keep her hands off herself, as instructed. But she had done it. Sometimes, she'd found herself doing extra housework, despite her keeping herself and the apartment flawless and spotless, just to try and distract herself from that burgeoning itch that had got stronger and stronger as the days had gone on. But somehow, she had managed. "No, sir - I haven't."
She heard the smile widen, slightly. "That's my good girl. I bet it's been difficult, hasn't it? I bet your pussy's been nasty with your juices for days, hasn't it?"
She shivered with desire. "Yes, sir - it has."
"Is it now? Are you a dirty girl - all slippery from wanting?"
Her breathing and heartbeat began to speed up, a little. "Yes, sir."
"Are you sure? Put your fingers down there and feel, my pet - tell me how wet you are."
Slowly, she did as she was told, sliding her slightly trembling hand down her belly, through her neatly trimmed bush and finally reaching her naked pussy lips which were, indeed, slippery with her juices. She gasped when her fingertips brushed over her engorged clit.
"Tell me."
"I'm wet for you, sir. My pussy's dripping. My clit's budded hard and aching to feel your tongue lapping it." She slid a finger inside herself, then out again, with great difficulty. "My cunt's tight and hot - it's twitching to the sound of your voice, Sir."
His breathing was getting a little heavier. "Do you want to put your fingers in there, you dirty little slut?"
She gasped as she felt her cunt spasm harder. "Yes, sir... oh, yes please, sir..."
"Very well - you may have three."
"Oh, thank you, sir!" she moaned, back arching as she slid three fingers into her pussy and began to slide them in and out of herself, juices flooding around and between her fingers.
"Fuck yourself then, my pet. Dig your fingers deep. Squeeze them as hard as you can with that tight little pussy I love so much. Let me hear how much a dirty little slut like you enjoys playing with herself."
And she did. Slamming her hand into herself repeatedly and wetly, she moaned and gasped and arched and trembled. Soon, he heard a change in her breathing, even as his became hoarse and ragged at the sound of his pet pleasuring herself so very, very far away.
"P... Please, Sir..." she could barely control her voice enough to ask, "Please m... may I come, Sir?"
A deep breath, then: "Yes - come for me, my pet - let me hear how much you miss me."
She let go. Her back arched until only her shoulders, buttocks and heels were touching the bed, and she wailed loud and long, an answering groan coming from the phone still clamped to her ear.
Collapsing on the bed, she lolled and panted, trying to get her breath back, her heart thundering.
From the phone came a hoarse whisper. "I love you, darling. I'll see you tonight."
"I love you, too. And I can't wait. Take care."
"You too, my pet."
As she closed the phone, the bright morning sun caught the gold ring on her left hand. She was still aching for him - there was no other feeling in the world like his cock slamming inside her. But she only had to wait a few more hours to see her husband again.


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30 Day blog challenge: Days 07 & 08 - cheating a little.

i'm going to stand up and proclam right now that i'm going to cheat.  day 07 was supposed to be a photo that makes you happy, and day 08 was supposed to be a photo that makes you angry or sad.  there's a couple of problems here. 

firstly, last night was mostly a cuddling-wih-hubby-and-kitty-in-front-of-the-telly night.  Friday of the first week back after christmas, an we were both fairly buggered and feeling snuggly, so i decided to give blogging a miss for the night.  i'm allowed to do that, right?  i just committed myself to doing two posts today. 

and then i realised that no matter how much i racked my brains, i couldn't come up with a photo that makes me angry or sad.  this is probably down to deeply ingrained habits of Black Dog avoidance.  i tend to blank out stuff like this.  so, y'know, just insert pics of abused animals and people, facist pride marches, tabloid front pages, &c, &c, and you'll get the idea.  i refuse to go searching for this shit, and if you want to, that's your bag.

so on to the happy pic.  there are many photos in my library that make me happy, but i guess i only get to pick one.  the winner is one that follows on (sort of) from the reason my last post was as it was, and has never actually been in my electronic archive, since i wasn't a member of the body electric when t was taken. the only reason i can post it here is that i used it to test my scanner one day (which is currently packed away, and i'm not of a mind to go rumaging)

as you may remember, two days ago was our wedding anniversary.  but that was just the day when we signed the bit of paper which the law recgnises as making us married, and it was just us and two friends as witnesses.  the really important day in a spiritual sense came six months later, on june 19th, 2005.   that was the day we were handfasted in our local woods, by a lake, surrounded by friends and family.  handfasting, by the way, is a Pagan wedding ceremony.  now, hubby and i are both athiests, but we both revere nature, and find all the wonder in the cosmos that we could possibly wish for, without the intervention of imaginary friends.  so i guess you might call us athiests wth Pagan leanings, if you wished to label us.

this was taken at the point in the ceremony when we were literally handfasted.  Martin the priest has just wrapped a plaited ribbon around our hands to symbolise our being bound together in love.  behind hubby's shoulder you can see The Most Wonderful Woman In The World, representing the element of water.

the thing that makes me happiest about this photo, apart from all the beautiful memories of the best day of my life, is the look on hubby's face.

30 day blog challenge - day 06 - whatever tickles your fancy

well, that's a very useful coincidence.

you see, today is my wedding anniversary.  also, my first-day-of-being-together anniversary.  the former is 6 years, the latter 15, and tonight, we go out to eat lovely foods.  so i won't really have time to do any blogging tonight - therefore i blog at work.  but what to blog?

it just so happens that i was inspired (and challenged, by the by, by @catinabaglady - hi, princess! :) *waves*), to write a little something inspired by the ubiquitous ladder in my tights.  so i shall post it for today's 30 day challenge offering.


Ladder.

It’s dark, and cold, and I’m bleary. Slumping into my usual seat, I scrub my face with a gloved hand and yawn. The rumbling of the bus’s engine is soporific, and I resist the urge to close my sore eyes. Damn winter mornings.

Yawning again, I glance around at the other passengers, and my eyes widen a little in surprise. The bus fairy is here.

Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? Indeed, I feel stupid thinking it. But that’s the name she’s earned for herself in my head. In her early twenties, her hair a permanent and artful birds nest, her make up subtly fantastical, and her clothes the ultimate in hippy chic.

I mostly see her in the summer, haven’t seen her for months now. I was beginning to get the weird notion that she was a creature of the warm weather, and that she was hibernating in a den of soft furs somewhere north of the Arctic Circle, the lights of the aurora singing pleasant dreams to her as she slept.

But no – here she is. I steal surreptitious glances at her as the bus begins to move, and she crosses one leg over the other, left over right, settling deeper into her seat. Looks tired, no make up, and her torso is bundled up in many scarves and an old army jacket against the biting chill. My eyes travel down her body to where her legs poke out of the bottom of the swaddled mass of her clothing. Feet and calves tucked up warm and snug in the most enormously shaggy furry boots I’ve ever seen. She wears them in summer, too, but they’re far more suited to this bitter cold, and I envy her undoubtedly warm feet.

Incongruous to the rest of her attire, though, her legs are encased only in mustard coloured tights. Sort of a soft, yellowy brown colour which, on anyone else, would look awful. Somehow, though, her fey charm carries them off with aplomb and certainty. I’ve seen them before, of course, and they must be favourites, because they are a little the worse for wear. I notice a snag, here and there, and a ladder. On the inside of her right knee, it starts just below the top of her calf and travels up, only a quarter of an inch wide, and disappears underneath her crossed leg and the hem of her skirt. I find myself staring, and quickly flick my eyes away as she moves, settling her body a little, burrowing a little further down into her protective cocoon.
I know it’s rude to stare, but gradually, my eyes make their way back to that tiny, exposed strip of soft, creamy flesh at her knee, and I marvel. I wonder what it would feel like to run the tip of my index finger slowly along that gap. To feel the yield and warmth of that beautiful, pale skin. My eyes half-close as the reverie overtakes me. Half-dreaming, I watch her shift uncomfortably, and re-cross her legs; right over left this time. Those tights must be near the end of their useful life, as the movement causes the ladder to grow. As her right leg settles in place, the ladder widens slightly, and a pinstripe run bursts from the top. I can almost hear the faint zipping noise, as it races along her soft inner thigh, and into the darkness under the hem of her skirt, ridden up now to mid-thigh. Now I have a perfect view of the ladder. It’s a cliché’, I know – or a bad chat-up line – but just at that point, my ethereal finger is replaced my the tip of my tongue as I gently trace the path of the ladder along that soft, sensitive flesh. Would she be ticklish, I wonder? Would she giggle as my tongue’s tip traced its way around the bend of her knee, along her inner thigh? Would she sigh and open her legs a little, to allow my tongue to continue its journey? All the way to the end of that ladder? How far up does it run, I wonder? All the way…?

The bus jerks and hisses as we reach a stop, shaking me out of my head and back into the real world. Even as I feel a blush heating my face, my traitor eyes follow her body as she stands and prepares to leave the bus. Just before I force my eyes to the floor, though, I swear I catch a glint in her eyes.

A half-smile quirking the corner of her mouth…

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30 day blog challenge: Day 05 — Your favourite quote

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

 Elisabeth Kubler-Ross quotes (Swiss-American psychiatrist and author )

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30 day blog challenge - day 04 - your favourite book

...i'm sorry, what?

...'scuse me whilst i go ask someone which their favourite child is....

i mean... what sort of a question is that to ask a bibliophile?!  come on - be realistic!

ok, ok - enough with that.  i have, as i'm sure you can imagine, manymany favourite books, for manymany reasons.  but if it counts, above all of these for sheer depth and scope and variety and storytelling and achievement is The Sandman, by...  oh, come on - surely you know me well enough by now...?

i could witter on about my myriad second favourites, but i'm not feeling too funky today, so i think i'll just leave it there, and head on over to Neil Gaiman's blog, to see if he's officially announced the happy news, yet...

(added edit: he did!  soooo happy for them both! :)

30 day blog challenge: Day 03 — Your favourite television programme

*sigh* again a hard choice.  there are, actually, two.  one that i'm sure everyone in the English-speaking world with a telly (and most without), will have heard of, and one that is more of a cult thing and is, sadly, no longer being made.

the first is, of course, Doctor Who.  how could it not be?  prime-time british scifi with this depth and scope - the acting, the storylines, the effects - everything is totally primo, and has been since dear ol' Russell Davies revived it and made it as it was always meant to be made.  i will plan my weekend around it's showing, and even cut a family christmas day visit short in order to race home and watch it. i think my family understand...

the second?  well - i am unable to adequately describe the surreal genius that was Green Wing.  in short, it's a sitcom set in a hospital.  but it's more - oh, so much more - than that.  characters say and do bizarre things, time speeds up and slows down at will, the dialogue is sharp and often hysterically funny, and every time i watch it (yes, we have the DVDs of both series and the special), i notice some new weirdness or nuance that just keeps on giving.  there's never been anything like it before or since, and i treasure it as something that will keep me laughing for many, many years. 
oh, yes - and we named one of our chickens after one of our favourite characters in the show.

Day 02 — Your favorite movie

i remembered seeing this heading over at .Square Mug., (where my sister-in-bloggery and co-drabbler Liz is doing the challenge with me),  and i've been thinking about it since i read her long, long list.  have to amit, films aren't a huge part of my life.  i enjoy them very much though, and have often been known to sob like a broken-hearted maiden, or laugh like a drain at the most throwaway stuff. it took me a while, therefore, to actually remember that there are several that fill me with a quiet (and sometimes not-so-quiet) joy, and chief among these is MirrorMask.  written by my hero, Saint Neil of the Gaiman (well of course it was! c'mon - did you expect anything else...? if so, you haven't been paying attention.  it's kinda his fault that i'm here, after all.  if you want to know why, go have a look here), and designed by his artist pal of the stunningly beautiful weirdness, Dave McKean. it's a beautiful, sadly overlooked tale of magic and monkeybirds (all called Bob), and a dark queen, and the desire to run away from the circus and be normal, and sphinxes, and a Really Useful Book with sticky pages, and cowardice, and bravery, and a flying house, and orbiting giants and... and... well - it's a joy of invention and a feast for the eyes and heart.

yup - hands down, it's my favourite.

and i HAVE to watch it again, really, really soon.  it's been far too long.

can't at the moment, though, as hubby has a new computer game, and i won't have control of the telly for...  well...  probably a few days, actually...

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30 day blog challenge: day 01 — Your favorite song

so here we are.  2011 at last.  happy new year everybody! *fireworks &c*

no really - i hope your 2011 is everything you dream it could be (though not the nightmares, obviously - that would just be mean).  i'm not really a celebrater of new year - haven't been for years, but it is kinda nice to see the calendar flick over and feel like you've got a chance to start afresh (however arbitrary the timing of that chance may be.  remember, kids - time and date are an invention of man... ;)  we had a lovely evening with a couple of friends, last night (The Most Wonderful Woman In The World and her lovely man).  they came over for dinner, and then left to get home before midnight, as the fireworks frighten their dogs.  so it was just me an' hubby watching Jools Holland's Hootenanny (a tradition a decade long), and it was quiet and lovely.

and now, as i said, here we are.  new year, new decade, new challenge.  a thirty-day blog challenge, to be precise.  and today's is a really, really easy one for me.  in fact, i've even mentioned my favourite song somewhere on here.  hell - i named the blog after it!  but for those of you who may have missed the post, here's a link to it on  YouTube.  the first time i heard it, it made me cry.  well over fifteen years later, i still sit here, cheeks wet with tears, marvelling at how every single word in the lyric both calls to and describes me.  though i am neither a musician nor a music geek, music is viscerally important to me, and this song touches my soul every. single. time.

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