blogging in the sunshine, and Minotaur

Good afternoon, dear reader!


This is coming to you live from my knackered garden, and the sun is shining, so I can barely see what I am typing. But who cares? I haz warms, and have bared my neck and arms and legs for the first time in what feels like forever. And I just saw a butterfly flutter by... *sigh*

Well, actually, the “live” thing is a bit of a fib, since the wifi signal doesn’t work this far away. ‘coz, y’know – I live in Chatsworth House, innit? XD No, really – I’m typing this into Word then I’m gonna cut and paste.

Ooo! Hang on a mo....*runs to fetch camera*

...

So now I’ve taken some pics and, when I post this, you’ll be able to see the estate in all its dubious glory. I’ll post ‘em at the bottom.

...

Where was I? Oh, right – I’ll get on to the main subject in a moment, but first, I want to share a tiny bliss moment I had yesterday, whilst on the bus to work.

Yes, the bus.

Nonono – there’s nothing wrong with Newbie, she’s looooovely! *sigh* But I have to concentrate when I ride her, coz she’s a sprightly little bugger, and she won’t catch me if I cock up. And yesterday, I was more likely than usual to cock up, since I’d had 3 hours’ sleep, due to .... dun dun duuuuuhhhh!!! The Return Of The Cramps!!! Heh – it’s no biggie, but the buggers always*do* seem to wake me.

Anyway...

So I was on the bus, and I saw something I’ve been waiting to see for what seems like forever. I always wait for it, and it always seems faaar too long in coming. But I saw it. Yesterday. And it filled my heart with bliss and made my eyes fill with tears of gratitude.

I saw the first white dusting of Mayblossom on the hawthorn trees.

It may not seem like a big deal but, to me, it’s the signal that, in the words of The Dooberies, summer’s on it’s way. We have a saying in this part of the world:

Ne’er shed a clout*
‘Till May be out

(*clothing)

Meaning: don’t discard yer woollies ‘till you see the blossom on the Maytree (hawthorn). Even then, it’s not an absolute guide, since the sun’s just gone in, and I’ve had to slip me cardi back on – the breeze is still pretty cold. But I care not. I care not. Because the warms are nearly here, and I miss being able to expose my skin to the bliss of the sun’s rays.

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In other news, which was, in fact, supposed to be the point of this post (but now seems to pale into insignificance beside the pale beauty of the Mayblossom), my very first effort at writing a novel is now up on the internetz for all and sundry to read. And, having read through it for the final edit, I’m actually rather proud of it.

Oh, who am I kidding? I love it, and am enormously proud of it. It’s called Minotaur, and it’s posted on the Authonomy website.

So, y’know – go have a look. Please. Leave comments if you wish. Honestly, I hope you like it, but I won’t mind if you don’t. I wrote it purely for myself, after all, and one man’s meat is another man’s poison. But I *am* very interested to know what you think...

It will soon be available in print, too – for a given value of soon, as I’m still waiting for the artwork from hubby. But that’s ok – we know how fickle the muse can be don’t we, dear reader?

...

The sun seems to have gone in properly, now, and the clouds are gathering. I wouldn’t be surprised if it rains in a bit. But no matter. I shall go inside, and I shall post pictures, and you can see what a mess our darling chickens have made of our once lush and inviting lawn. The little buggers are eating what’s left of it as I type...

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view from the back door.  that's hubby's poor dead bike under the cover.  Newbie is just out of shot to the right.

here we have the first view of the garden proper.  to the left is the veg patch - not growing anything this year, but every now and again, we turn the earth over so the chickens can scratch about for delicious treats.

the view to the end of the garden.  as you can see, we no longer have a lawn.  the girls have trampled and scratched and eaten it out of existence.  that's their home, on the right.  built by my clever hubby.

further up the garden is the pond.  sometimes, we get newts.  they are such gorgeous little creatures....

back down the garden, we get another view of the coop, and the girls.  the stone mushroom marks the grave of our first and most beloved rat, Jeremy.

here's where i was writing the post from earlier.  jolly comfy it was, too...  the pillar behind it was also built by hubby, to use as a base for his telescope.

the girls.  that's Alan at the back (named after a character in the delightfully bizarre and much missed series Green Wing).  Ruby (Ruby Murray - chicken curry.  geddit?...) is at the front, looking at me suspiciously, as usual.

and here's me enjoying the rays.  Sunshine Squeaky.

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new bike (as yet, nameless)

dear reader, it hath arrived!  the new bike is in da house, and poor Trob is no more. :o(

when i put the deposit on the newbie, there were one or two things that needed attending to.  it needed a new passenger footpeg, chain and sprocket (one of my favourite words, by the way!), new handlebar grips, and new throttle cables.  i was supposed to pick it up the following saturday, but the new throttle cables proved to be a bit of a problem.  according to John (of John Carr Motorcycles of Somercotes, Derbyshire the place the newbie came from), the cables would normally be on the shelf at his supplier.
however, continuing our pattern of luck with vehicles, they were not. 
saturday came around, no bike.  he said probably monay, maaaaybe tuesday.  so i waited, and twitched a little. 
monday?  no.  "We got a big box of kawasaki parts, but no cables." (thanks, john - really needed to know that...*more twitching*)  "don't worry though - they'll be here soon."
okaaaay....  tuesday?  still no. 
and they were shut on wednesday. 
tuesday was a fairly despondent day.  i (like the rest of the world) really, really hate waiting for stuff, and by now i was reconciled to saying goodby to Trob, looking forward to the new experience of (for the first time ever, dear reader) using a vehicle that was less than ten years old(!) i was excited, dammit!  i may, though, not have been quite so despondent if some kind friend (and you know who you are! *gives said friend a stern look*) had not mentioned the fact that the parts may have to be flown in from somewhere, and the ash cloud was still dancing in the skies above us, grounding all of the air traffic.
(btw - check out these beautiful pictures of the volcano and the Aurora Borealis! ^_^)
and so to thursday.  i had, by now, resigned myself to the thought that it may indeed be the ash cloud that was causing the delay, and i may have to wait days, or even weeks, for the Icelandic Volcano Gods to settle down again.  i was dealing with it.  i had also, optimistically and just in case, booked thursday afternoon off.  i fully intended to take it, too.  (i reasoned that if the cables still hadn't arrived, then at least i could pin down a short story that had blossomed in my brain in the middle of the night.  and, in my best Kirsty Wark voice, more on that later....)
i called the bike shop at about half past ten, with everything crossed.  "Oh, hi!  yeah - it's on the bench now - be ready in a couple of hours"

happy. dance.

in joy i went home, to wait for the call to say i could go pick up my new toy.  i actually got sick of waiting for the call and rang up at about half past three to be told it had been ready for an hour.  didn't care.  i had used my waiting time well, and had managed to pin down the first half of the story.  this made me happy.  and now i could finally, finally pick up my new bike.
i could tell you in detail about the experience.  the heat and sweat in my bike gear, the excitement, the lengthy process of transferring ownership of two vehicles at once (hampered by at least half a dozen phonecalls).  the bittersweet moment when i finally said goodbye to my faithful old warhorse of a Kawasaki GT750. (proud of myself that i managed not to cry, by the way).
but i suspect it would be of very little interest to anyone other than myself.  so i won't bore you.  instead, i will show you some pictures:

practically my last view of my dear old Trob.  holding back the tears.

(btw, the dent on the tank happened in the first year i had her - tried to set off with the chain lock still attached to the back wheel.  promptly fell over, and only a concrete post saved me from the deadly shame of being unable to pick her up by myself.)

shiny new toy!

...mmm...shiiiiny......

weird angle, rrreeeeally pretty disc brakes....

shiny FTW!!! (hubby has very sternly informed me that i may wish to keep her this way...)

so i took her for a little inaugral jaunt around a few local country lanes.  just to get used to the ride, you understand... ;o)

the difference was astounding.  riding Trob, i now realise, was like sitting in an old, battered armchair that has moulded to the shape of one's body.  comfortable, solid, stable.  maaaaybe a little creaky.  but familliar and beloved.
the new bike is a different beast entirely.  it was like moving from an armchair to a bar stool.  the centre of balance is higher, thus feels a little precarious for the first ride or two.  but then - oooohhhh, but then.

my, my, dear reader.  i may not be in love, but i've certainly got that glow.  the ride position is totally different.  from being slouched comfortably and cruising along (...um...apart from doing the odd ton down the A38 when i feel the need for speed...*ahem*), i have gone to being forced to actively adopt a racing position - leant forward over the tank (sometimes feeling like i've got my nose practically over the front wheel!), legs bent in a ready-to-spring almost-crouch, and, yes, a bit of a daft grin.  the throttle is so responsive!  the breaks are so sharp! (*makes mental note* will have to watch out for that...). and the movement.  this bike, i kid you not, moves like a dancer.  the balance, the poise... oh, bliss!  it makes me want to weave from side to side on straight roads.  i crave bends and potholes, just for the chance to weave my sinuous way around them!  actually, with this being far more of a sports bike than a cruiser, i have to go around the potholes.  the seat and suspension are sooo firm!!!  boy oh boy, is my arse going to be sore for a while!
but i care not.  New Bike is happymaking. ^_^

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just a quick word about the new story.  it's called Ink Devil, and it's set in a library.  as i said, i got the first half pinned down on Thursday, the rest of it came through yesterday.  and it's a bit...um...well, let's put it this way:  i love it, but i may have to wait until the blushes die down before i post it....

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oh, gods - what have i done?!

good evening, dear reader.

it's been an interesting day...

you may remember some happy squeaking a while ago, from when we got a fabulous new shower.  well, a couple of weeks ago, the shower broke, due to the fuse for the old shower not being adequate to serve the new shower.  it got so hot, that it melted some of the fuse box, and welded itself in place.  not a wonderful state of affairs, i must say.  since then, we have been enduring tepid baths, since to have hot water, we need to turn the heating on, and the weather has been warm, so the bath not so much.  today, we went to get a new fuse and box so we could once again get squeaky clean without shivering and feeling miserable.  the place we had to go to obtain this specialist bit of kit is on an industrial estate in a nearby town.

so anyway...  off we trotted to said electrical place and obtained said specialist bit of kit.

then i looked across the road.

over the road is a unit that has been turned into a bike shop.  i have been wearing the same knackered leathers for years which are, though still perfectly sevicable, heavy, and uncomfortable in hot weather, and not all that waterproof.  also - the jacket is made of at least half a cow and weighs a bloody ton.  so over the road i trotted to see if they had anything that would A) replace what i have, and B) fit me.  i have rather a womanly shape (small waist, big bum and hips), and trousers especially can be an absolute nightmare to fit in comfort.

so now i am the proud owner of some spanking new trousers and a jacket.  manmade, waterproof, and weighing probably a quarter of my old gear.

HUZZAH!!!

but i had not finished.  ho no!

see, not only did they sell gear, but also bikes.  of course, since it's a bike shop... (well, duh!)  and of course we had to have a good oggle at the bikes whilst we were there.  and i saw one of these...

Kawasaki ZR-7

i am a huge fan of kawasaki.  and i made the mistake of sitting on it.

oh, dear.

remember Trob?  my faithful warhorse of a Kawasaki GT750, who has carried me with nary a complaint, and very little trouble, for seven years?  of course you do.  so do i - she's kinda hard to forget.  soon, however, all i will have of her will be memories, and a couple of photographs.

i appear to have traded her in for a new bike...

and yes, of course i'm excited to think that soon, i will be riding this perky, sprightly young whipper-snapper.  but at the moment, all i can do is look at Trob, think of how well she's served me over the years, and think, "oh, gods - what have i done...?"

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fair weather biker? you bet your ass!

well, well... the weather seems to be warming up, at last. out of the chilly breeze, the sun has actually been hot on my back during my cigarette breaks at work.  and the mornings and evenings are getting lighter, too.  this can only mean one thing... 
it will soon be time to get the leathers out, and put the old girl back on the road.

The Recalcitrant Old Bitch (as i fondly call her)

heh - not a great pic, but the only one i've got, i'm afraid.

so - i'm not what people would think of as a "typical" biker.  very limited knowledge of makes, models, etc.  no framed photies around the house.  no getting out on a sunday to polish her to within an inch of her life.  (um...*blush*...as it happens, she gets washed about once a year, if she's lucky..  mind you, every time i DO wash her, she develops an oil leak. so...*shrugs*)

and noooo riding in all weathers.  oh, no sireee not on your life!  or, in fact, mine.

somebody called me a fair-weather biker once.  which, as far as it goes, is true.  i am.  it was meant as an insult, though, and coming from this particular woman, it was particularly insulting.  but never mind that.

actually, yes - i will expand a little, here. 

fair weather bikers (when used as a perjorative phrase) tends to be applied to people who only get the bike out when the sun's warm and the roads are bone-dry, polish their toys to mirror-brightness, go for a ride, then head to Matlock Bath in Derbyshire (or somewhere like it) on a sunday (traditional meeting place of bikers since only the gods know when - a little bit of the seaside in the heart of the country...) in order to pose.

i am, indeed, a fair-weather biker.  but not in the above sense.

(btw, i was just running over what i wanted to say in this post, and i suspect it may be another of those loooong, rambling ones i seem to be getting so good at.  so if you want to, like, nip out and wash the dishes, or go to a restaurant, or on holiday, or something, go right ahead - i'll probably still be wittering on when you get back - i doubt you'll miss much, to be honest...)

aaaanyway - where was i?...  oh, yes...

so, i ride a bike.  but i tend to use it as a mode of transport to and from work, mostly, rather than as a pleasure-craft.  some people i know go out for a ride just for the sheer joy of it.  tbh, i can rarely be arsed with that.  i started riding about...oooh...seven-ish years ago, mainly because i finally got fed up with being on the back.  seriously - it's a pain in the arse.  (literally, in fact, if we're talking hubby's bike.  his is a chop, and the back seat is less than two inches thick, and six wide, if i'm lucky.  how the hell i did two 900 mile holidays on that terrible torture device, i will never know!) (p.s. it is, sadly no longer rideable - needed a new wiring loom and, by the time we could afford to fix it, it was knackered, so he drives Isobel, these days). 

so i started riding as an adult, with the healthy awareness of my own mortality which that (usually) implies.  also, i drove a car for years, and know just how careless car drivers can be.  therefore, i am a cautious rider, and i never go anywhere without safety gear - full leathers, boots, etc.  and bloody hell, but that takes a looong time to get on!  then, i have to get the bike out, which involves turning her around in a space not much wider than she is long, lifting her back end up to get her around a tight ninety-degree bend in the passage beween our house and next door, then usually squeezing between parked cars onto a road along which people drive like the clappers.  by the time i've done all that (and the bike is old, and, my gods, she is HEAVY!!!), i kinda need a purpose at the end of it all, like, say, earning a little money.  so she generally only gets used for work.  but that's fine, really - i suspect i enjoy my commute a damn sight more than most.  especially in the evening rush-hour, when i get to nip down the middle of the double jams, and really piss the drivers off, stuck in their metal boxes. *naughty grin*

but.... 

the flipside to this is the english sodding weather.  we have a green and pleasant land, but to have a green land, you need water.  and i hatehateHATE riding in the rain!  it fogs your visor, distorts the view, gets in everywhere there's a seam or a gap, or an imperfectly waterproofed item of clothing. 

and the roads!  standing water, diesel spills, puddles, hidden potholes, rubbish and gravel washed across the surface and DRAIN COVERS!!! 

and riding in the rain in the dark?  in rush hour traffic???  forget it!!! 

seriously.  i want to live. 

added to this, my low-light/night vision is pretty poor.  so as well as the fact that it's really unpleasant, there's the safety aspect. 

and riding in the cold?  if you've never ridden a bike (and i'm not talking pillion, here, i'm talking hands on the handlebars), let me tell you - you can tog up as much as you like but, at best, you're only going to be able to give your poor fingertips minimal to moderate protection from the windchill.  and that shit HURTS!!!  try putting your fingers in a vice for half an hour, and slooooowly tightening it, until all you can feel is the pain.  until, in fact, your whole world is the pain.  and again, if you miss even the tiiiiniest gap, that icy blast will get in.

so yes, i AM a fair-weather biker, insofar as i try not to ride in conditions under which there is a greatly increased risk of serious injury and/or death, or a chance of freezing solid and/or having to sit in wet underwear all day (i really don't reccommend it - makes your bum wrinkly).

but the nights are getting lighter, and the weather is sloooowly warming up, and my throttle hand is beginning to twitch.

i tried to start her today, for the first time since october.  she doesn't like being negleted, and refused to fire up, but the starter motor worked, so that was encouraging.  need to juice up the battery and clean the plugs, and try again.  and soon.

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in other news...

today, i mostly did...well...not a great deal, actually.

i got some much-needed laundry and sorting-out-piles-of-crap done, taxed TROB (and i've never seen that acronym before - Trob rather suits her as a name, i feel... :o), and wandered around on facebook for a while (never been there before - i found it a little sprawly and hard to work...). 

and twitter, of course.

but i also decided it was high time i made me some lip balm, as my other one was getting low and gritty (nutmeg - all will be explained.  actually, it's not all that interesting, but i'm gonna tell you anyway..)

the recipe i got from a very nice lady named Holly Snook (i know - cool name, right? apparrently, her dutch grandfather's surname was Snoek, but it got anglicised.  which i think is a shame, but never mind), who i used as a starting point for the heroine in my current work-in-progress.  this girl is one of the nicest, warmest, friendliest, and generally loveliest people i've ever met.  and there's something oddly fey about her, but her looks wouldn't be considered fey...

...getting off the point, here, sorry...

she used to run a shop in Saddlergate in Derby called Boo - selling ethical, fair trade items of a variety of descriptions (also making miniskirts out of old neckties - soooo cool!).  tiny little place in a basement - very welcoming and always smelled deliciously of incense.  i haven't actually been in for months, but i went back on friday, as i was after some Melissa essential oil.  no joy. 

at first, i thought the shop had closed, as the board outside said Cherry Bomb Gallery, but thankfully i went to have a look before i wandered away in disappointment.  sure enough, as soon as i walked in the door, i could smell the incense - albeit fainter.  and, at the bottom of the stairs, there was the lovely Holly herself.  turns out, she's gone into partnership with some friends, as she's got an apprenticeship with a tattoo artist.  to learn how to make HANDPICKED TATTOOS!!! ancient art!  am absolutely floored with joy for her!  :o)

anyway, back when the shop was still Boo, she did little workshops on how to make various chemical- and crap-free beauty products.  i went to the one where she showed us how to make lip balm and moisturising/massage bars.  from pure cocoa butter and the like (which, of course, she sold).  i went home and tried it. 

it. is. sheer. bliss! 

forget Body Shop, forget (even) Lush.  this stuff is astonishing.  it's the best i've ever used.  and it's petrochemical free and ethical, too! *waaaaarm fuzzies*

herewith, the recipe (with tips / info included from the original leaflet, and a few of my own):

3/4 tsp wax (forms moisturising barrier - use apricot, bees or olive wax, or a mixture)

1/2 tsp cocoa butter (high in vit. e - regenerating)

2 tsp olive oil (high in vit. e - regenerating)

1/2 tsp organic honey (antiseptic, plus speeds healing)

or

1/2 tsp organic maple syrup (anti-oxidising, loaded with manganese and zinc)

plus a pinch of ground cinnamon for blushed lips, or a couple of drops of vanilla extract for sweet lips

N.B. NEVER melt butters and oils over direct heat, otherwise you will destroy all of the goodness.  use a bain marie or similar.

take a few minutes to melt the butter and wax in a small dish over hot water (the more finely grated these are, the quicker it will melt - esp the wax, which takes aaaages if it's a bit lumpy):

add the oil and honey or syrup, stir gently until all is liquid and blended.

remove from the heat and allow to cool for 5 mins before adding your flavouring. (i added a smidge of cinnamon as i'm very sensitive to it, and a smidge of nutmeg)

decant into a small pot, and leave to cool (stirring occasionally, or the honey is likely to separate out)

i tend to stir it until it begins to solidify (doen't take too long) , then put it in the fridge for half an hour to an hour, to set properly.

et voila! 

the best lip balm you will ever use - i promise! ;o)  seriously - it lasts on your lips for yonks, and makes them sooo soft - it's quite simply divine! ^_^

(added edit: it tends to be a little hard, especially in the wintertime, but if you scrape a little out with the back of your fingernail and smoothe it on your lips, it melts straight away, and works perfectly :o)

in the pic, the one on the left is the lip balm, the one on the right is an experimental solid perfume.

i used the same method, but with:

1 1/2 tsp kpangnan butter (don't ask me - i have nooo idea, but it's virtually odourless - great for perfume)

1 tsp yangu oil (see above)

1/2 tsp beeswax

melted the wax, butter and oil as described above, removed from the heat, then added 5 drops each of juniper and frankincense essential oils. 

smells divine - spicy and woody - just the way i like it!  hubby says it reminds him (not unpleasantly) of pine resin.

not sure how long the smell lasts on my skin because, of course, i can't smell it after a bit.  but i'll just stick my nose in the pot and inhale deeply anyway! XD

(added edit: sadly, despite how much wax i put in, the smell still doesn't seem to last too long. *shrugs* oh well...back to the chopping board...)

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and now, it's late, and i'm cold, and i've been working on this post for bloody HOURS! (got distracted somewhere in the middle by a Twitter conversation involving kidnap, werewolves, tides and the moon...

so - cup of tea and bedtime for Squeaky, methinks. 

goodnight, dear, sweet reader. 

dream high and free.

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